#and its in amongst such inane bullshit

[calebwittebane]

this is a random observation but i looooooove it when a very pretentious person with actually very little of value to say is going on an inane rant and they start doing the Repetition For Emphasis thing. you know, like "THIS is why we have to [x]. THIS is why we have to [y]. THIS, is why we have to [z]", that sort of thing. like they're giving an impassioned world-changing speech. when in reality theyre either talking about absolutely nothing and getting waaaay too self-important about it, or just don't know how to compile the thoughts into something coherent without having to restart the sentence over and over for no good reason. because, surprise, extreme emphasis of the sort only works if what you're saying actually warrants it, otherwise it's impossible to take seriously. anyway yeah the other day i saw (not for the first time, i'd seen the whole thing ages ago) a clip of lily orchard's original "steven universe is garbage" video where she goes off about The Evils Of Rebecca Sugar in that manner. its crazy. but that's just an example i'm giving you, as the stylistic choice is quite ubiquitous amongst members of the "ridiculous fool with an inexplicably large platform" community. and it cracks me up every time. like fuuuuuuck you really told them!!! you really told us! i'm getting fus ro dah'd by the sheer POWER of your statements about whatever this bullshit is. shouldve been adding those boom sound effects from the my name is skyler white yo edit. it's like the youtuber's "no. fuck this. fuck you."

[secondlastk]

can NOT believe how correct the davekats were

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision (#35)

35. NORWAY Subwoolfer - “Give that wolf a banana” 10th place

Decade rank: 70/79 [Above Sheldon, below Efendi]

You’d expect them to be higher, but nope!

We interrupt this bashfest of Sad Emo Boi Ballads to shred some fuckin’ nihilistic novelty that -true to form- makes me feel absolutely NOTHING! Which honestly, given *the sort of entry* this is, is a giant fucking red flag for its (lack of) quality. 

For some reason I convinced myself that I had always vaguely liked Subwoolfer before Eurovision, but oops here’s the review I wrote *before* their first live in MGP:

Way to go, me from the past!! I guess my pre-show appreciation was merely spillover relief that they won that *DREADFUL* National Final (if you want a sense of how brain-numbingly stupid MGP2022 was: Subwoolfer aren’t even amongst the 10 dumbest things about it! Imagine THAT!)

Regardless, my impression of Subwoolfer was always one of an act that isn’t nearly as witty or original as it thinks it is. It is effectively what a bunch of marketing researchers would come up with if you asked them to design a viral hit by strictly looking at census data. “HA HA HA! Masked singers in space wolf suits singing utter nonsense while doing a meme dance! HA HA HA HA! Are you not entertained?!”

Sadly the answer to that is: “not really”. First off, EVERYONE already knew Subwoolfer were Ben Adams and Gaute Ormåsen before they even won the NF, so fuck your mystery and shove it, Norway.

Secondly, once you get through the initial ‘wtf did I just watch” phase, it becomes stale alarmingly fast. For all its “ZOMG SPACE WOLF” bluster, “Give that wolf a banana” is formulaic and bland, and I blame a fucking lack of chutzpah.. 

Sadly, Subwoolfer also chose to take themselves seriously as a Joke Act and didn’t content themselves with merely being likeable gimmick filler. (a role they would have been fine in! “Dads in wonky outfits doing stupid meaningless shit for funsies” is Circus Mircus’s entire appeal!). The Concept Demanded however that Subwoolfer go viral AT ALLLLL COSTS!!!! So they tried, with a level of desperation usually reserved for Jessika Muscat’s MESC entries, and failed. Multiple times.  

A wise individual would simply accept that “well, perhaps the overal project just isn’t that good” and leave it at that, hoping for the best, but nope, not these eejits. 

Soon enough my enjoyment of “Give that wolf a banana” would be directly tied to my willingness to put up with the increasedly inane and obsequious bullshit they were spewing JUST to maintain a modicum of relevance. They lost me somewhere between “FUN FACT: “Give That Wolf” is actually a pro-vaccination anthem, where 🐺🐺 = 🦠 and 🍌= 💉 ” [ah, ain’t nothing like openly ridiculing a pandemic that killed millions of people] and “DID YOU KNOW THAT JIM AND KEITH ARE NON-BINAIRY?   our 3000 year old space wolves are really woke! 🚀🐺”, [despite having male names and wearing male clothes and being played by cisgender men]  Like, OKAY, now is the time to shut the hell up 🙂

(Also we don’t care if and when and where TIX wore that DJ Austronaut costume or not. How about you rely on a good song/gimmick instead of pulling some more extraneous BULLSHIT?!)

Eurotwitter still lapped it all up, ofc, as if we needed more proof you need to fail an IQ test to be a part of that community. The Casuals *and* Radio DJs I will point out  completely ignored Norway, and instead were discussing the amazing entries from the UK and Serbia, two songs that *did* go viral because they were, in addition to great acts, ALSO great songs! 😁

but sure, secure that top 10 so NRK doesn’t have to learn from their mistakes and can FINALLY get their overdue NQ in 2023, I guess.

THE RANKING: 

35. NORWAY - Subwoolfer - “Give that wolf a banana” 36. AUSTRALIA - Sheldon Riley - “Not the same” 37. SWITZERLAND - Marius Bear - “Boys do cry” 38. AZERBAIJAN - Nadir Rustamli - “Fade to black” 39. ITALY - Mahmood & Blanco - “Brividi” 40. ISRAEL - Michael Ben David - “I.M”

[artificialqueens]

The Language of Flowers, Chapter 3 (Multi) - Albatross

AN: First off; thanks to everyone for the feedback on ‘We’d Be Good Together’. I love reading everyone’s thoughts on my new stories. You all are the sweetest <3

So this new chapter is out a bit early so I can focus on finishing up 'We’d Be Good Together’ in the next two-three weeks. The plan for the next two months is ideally to finish up this story (5 more chapters to go), put out at least the first chapter of a new AAA Girls fic (tentatively titled 'Where We Left Off’ but it will not be a sequel to the last AAA story), and a holiday fic in mid-to-late Dec (which I am 99% certain I’ll be calling it 'I’m Not Lazy’ and it’ll feature a new pairing I have yet to see anywhere. Not say its not out there, I just can’t recall if I’ve ever come across it before). Final note for the next chapter of this story; it will finally have a bit of smut :)

If it were at all possible at this point, Jinkx’s passion for reading increased several times over after Sharon had given her the book. Of course, it was her favorite novel to return to but beyond that she found a deep interest in reading similar books on the subject of floriography. Every time she found a particularly interesting passage or historical account in her books, she found herself sharing it with her coworkers. Courtney and Ivy also developed an interest in the forgotten form of communication, though theirs was much more subdued, and occasionally discussed amongst themselves what a sight some of the bouquets must have been. Sharon and Violet had less of an enthusiasm for the subject but each listened politely whenever Jinkx would go off on her latest tangent. More than once during their morning chats, Jinkx found herself trailing off in embarrassment after realizing she was dominating the conversation with her relentless gushing over the topic. For her part, Sharon always sat across the table with a small amused smile painted on her lips and repeatedly assured the redhead that she didn’t mind listening.

“It’s nice to see you so passionate about something. I wish I was more like that,” Sharon told her honestly after the most recent outburst.

Jinkx found herself flushing at the compliment and took a deep swig from her mug to give herself time to come up with an non-flustered response.

“I do need to tone it down more,” she said in a guilty voice, “I know you guys must be getting tired of hearing me talk about it all the time.”

“Not at all. They might not be as into it as you are, but Ivy and Courtney love to hear the stories you tell them…And who cares if Violet doesn’t? No one likes hearing about her hook ups yet she still runs her mouth every time she gets laid.”

It was true. Sometimes nothing short of a ball-gag could silence the youngest owner as she gossiped about her most recent liaisons. As of late there was one consistent partner she met with but other than explicitly describing what they did in bed, Violet was unusually tight-lipped about any further details. Jinkx always thought she’d be the only one to blush at Violet’s stories but frequently Courtney could also be seen with a red face after listening to some of the most recent inane chatter regarding Violet’s sex life. Often times Jinkx looked over during the conversations to find Violet with a taunting smirk on her face and Courtney with her head hung low to hide her fiery cheeks. It came as a relief to both women that Violet’s stories gradually began to revolve around new partners.

“It’s just so fascinating…” Jinkx continued on as she took short sips from her coffee. “For so long people used flowers or other plants to express the emotions they couldn’t say otherwise. If you were too shy to admit you liked someone, you could give them a gardenia or acacia. If you didn’t know how say you sympathized with someone’s loss, you’d send a bouquet of stargazer lilies…And if you wanted to insult someone, just leave a geranium for them…It’s such a lost art form…” she lamented with a heavy sigh.

“Then why don’t you help people find it again?” Sharon asked casually as she leant forward in her seat.

Cocking her head to the side, Jinkx asked, “What do you mean?”

“Start creating bouquets with flowers that hold a special meaning…You always try to make each arrangement as unique as you can already, so why not add another little flair of your own to it?”

Shocked at the proposal, the redhead began haltingly, “I…I’d love to but…”

“But?” Sharon asked with a challenge in her voice.

Reluctantly, Jinkx admitted, “A lot of the flowers that I read about…we don’t have them here…like heliotrope. I think I’ve only seen one other shop that’s used them before and that was only for a wedding, not for their casual arrangements.”

“That’s what’ll make yours so different; using flowers and plants no one else thinks to use…Jinkx, trust me; I’ve seen your work improve so much from when you first started here. If anyone could make this work; it’d be you.”

“You think so?” Jinkx asked shyly.

“I do. I really do,” Sharon assured her, even going so far as to hold her hand as she gazed into the younger woman’s eyes. “And as far as finding all those other flowers goes; let me and Violet handle that. We know how to shop around. Just give me a list of what you want, and I can take it from there.”

Jinkx stared at her boss for a moment completely stunned and overwhelmed. Sharon seemed to be telling her the truth; she really thought Jinkx could make good go of this. After a moment’s thought, a bright grin broke out across the redhead’s lips as she accepted the offer with a cheerful, “Thank you!”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s nothing,” the blonde replied with a shrug. A smile was still present on her lips but she bit the interior of her cheek to keep it from spreading as wide as she’d like it to. Just something about seeing Jinkx so happy made her a little less cynical about the world but she’d be damned if she’d let anyone else know that.

“It’s really not, Sharon,” Jinkx replied gratefully as she scooted her seat closer the blonde’s. “Thank you so much. I promise I’ll do my best.”

Before Sharon could think of a response, she found herself engulfed by the redhead once again but this time there was zero chance of someone walking in on them again. Melting into the embrace, she murmured again that it really wasn’t a big of a deal but Jinkx just shook her head in disagreement. Even through her hair muffling the contact, she could feel the redhead’s smile against the skin of her near bare shoulders. This time around, the hug ran its course until Jinkx broke away but all Sharon could really think of was how much she hoped her racing heartbeat wasn’t as noticeable to the redhead as it was to her.

***************

Although it seemed like it would be easy enough at first to introduce the idea; it actually took a few weeks before things really got off the ground. One of the first obstacles of course was finding some of the more unique flowers and plants but while Sharon and Violet tracked down suppliers, Jinkx made due with the flowers she had on hand. It was a bit of a struggle in the beginning to bring up the idea with the customers; most just cared about a bouquet that looked good, never mind the meaning of the flowers within it. But with some persistence, Jinkx found a good segue into presenting her ideas without seeming pushy. She began with customers that didn’t really have a solid idea in mind of what they wanted. Once she picked up on that, she asked in a very sweet and understanding voice what emotion were trying to convey with the arrangement. After listening to the reason for the bouquet and what the client was trying to communicate, she gave them a brief education on some of the flowers she thought would work best, as well as what they meant. Before long she created a customized insert listing the flowers and their general meanings and included one with each of the arrangements she designed. Much to everyone’s surprise, that was all it took before customers began requesting personalized bouquets from her. She even developed her own opening tagline after thinking back to when she was first interviewed; 'What would you like your bouquet to say?’

She wasn’t sure if Sharon ever caught on to it or if she even remembered what inspired her new slogan, but Jinkx loved seeing the slight curling of her lips as she rang up yet another one of Jinkx’s signature bouquets at the register. All the girls had been so supportive as she tried out this new venture, she even swore her heart was close to bursting once Ivy congratulated her after selling her first one, but Sharon’s support meant something special to her. It wasn’t just that she was one of the owners; she had seen Jinkx’s talent and encouraged it even when Jinkx herself felt less than confident. She always knew just the right way to nudge the redhead into showing more conviction with her decisions. Although Jinkx genuinely did love Ivy (only as a friend, she came to realize shortly after), she was a bit pushy even though she never did anything without Jinkx’s best interests in mind.

She meant well, Jinkx knew that, but Sharon seemed to understand Jinkx’s needs more deeply than Ivy did and that revelation came as quite a shock. Sharon knew when to back off with the pressure, when to call her on a bullshit excuse, and most importantly; never made Jinkx feel like she needed to rush into making a decision. If anything, she helped the redhead to see exactly what she wanted and allowed her move forward at her own pace as she worked to achieve it. Ivy would just drag her along for the ride, sometimes doing the work for her, and Jinkx had to admit; that wasn’t really what she needed or wanted. She still loved her best friend more than anything…but she came to understand it should only ever remain a friendship.

Slowly but surely, Jinkx’s bouquets became the main attraction of the shop and the demand was so high that she had to give Courtney and Ivy a quick tutorial so that either could make similar arrangements on these days she was not around. Not that the girls weren’t begging to learn anyway. She also left a long cheat sheet at the work benches just in case they ever got stuck. It wasn’t nearly as in depth as it could have been but Jinkx felt it covered the basics pretty well.

Aside from the happy customers, the owners were also rather pleased. Business was given a boost once more and they were well on their way to being considered one of the top shops in the area and not just among the floristry community. Some days there was hardly a chance to rest between the orders to be filled and helping the customers that walked in off the street. Violet even joked every now and then that they might need to hire Willam to cover the slack. Immediately, Sharon would shoot down the idea with a terrified look, undoubtedly imaging the personal hell she would have to live in should Willam and Violet ever work together. Despite her reluctance to allow both women in the shop while she was also working, she begrudgingly accepted Willam’s ever increasing presence, particularly during Courtney’s shifts. By this time Willam was practically an honorary employee with how often she came by the shop to harass Courtney…and of course the other girls as well once she remembered they were also there. It was getting harder to deny that she was almost a permanent fixture at this point, stopping by nearly every day after she got off work. Her frequent visits had become so blatantly obvious that Sharon even commented on it one Saturday during their one of their rare breaks between customers.

“That’s…interesting,” she noted in a surprised voice as the bell above the front door rang.

Looking up from the invoice for their most recent shipment of flowers, Violet asked distractedly, “What?”

Motioning towards the door, Sharon subtly pointed out the pair of blondes walking in together, oblivious to most everything around them as they made their way towards the work benches. With a slight grin on her lips, Violet agreed, “Oh, yeah…That.”

Somewhat amused herself, Sharon inquired with her own smile, “How long has that been going on?” referring of course to the fact that they had arrived together, rather than Willam’s usual delay in visiting until after she had woken up much later in the day.

“About a month, I’d say,” Violet answered, unabashedly staring at the two women sitting close together while Courtney got to work on the day’s orders.

Though Courtney was dressed in typical work attire plus her green apron, Willam herself looked as though she spent quite a bit of extra effort that morning getting ready. Her makeup was clean and polished, unlike her usual messy chic and her hair was perfectly styled to frame her face. Even her outfit seemed to have been chosen specifically to draw in attention. Her skirt was just long enough to cover what was needed but still flouncy enough to catch someone’s eye as she walked and her top was of course tight and low cut to show off the body she was so proud of. In all, she looked very much like a peacock on display but her focus was strictly on the woman next to her. Even with the distance from the front counter to the alcove, the owners could tell that Willam and Courtney were engaged in their usual game of teasing one another but while Courtney’s posture was relaxed and at peace, Willam’s was showy and practically demanding Courtney’s attention remain steadily on her.

“She’s really been laying it on heavy the last two weeks,” Violet mentioned casually as she returned to reviewing the paper in front of her.

Still watching the younger women, Sharon asked absently, “Why’s that?”

Violet’s smile turned into a mischievous smirk as she answered with a knowing tone, “Courtney’s got a new roommate…”

Intrigued, the older blonde mused, “Oh?”

Unable to contain herself, Violet added in, “Cute little thing too. Name’s Katya…blonde, toned, hideous laugh.”

“100% Courtney’s type it seems,” Sharon commented with a full blown grin as she raised up her phone to capture a quick picture of the pair across the room.

Rolling her eyes at her friend, Violet further explained, “And 100% platonic, too. Willam will figure that out…eventually. Katya’s type tends to be more…bitchy.”

Smirking deviously as she typed away on her phone, Sharon asked, “And how do you know so much about this?”

Violet paused for a moment, seemingly debating if she should disclose the next piece of information, before ultimately giving in with a teasing tone, “How do you think?”

Sharon’s fingers halted in their clicking against the touch screen as the dots connected in her mind. “And that’s how you found Courtney?” she asked, already guessing the answer.

“Mh-mm, Katy’s her neighbor…was, I should say,” Violet confirmed proudly.

Though she didn’t have all the details, she finally knew how two people as different as Violet and Courtney came to know one another, and that was good enough for Sharon. Resuming her texting, Sharon sent the picture off and quickly changed the subject, “How long do you give them?”

Violet’s interest returned to the pair of blondes as Willam checked her buzzing phone and immediately turned a light pink. Noticing her reaction, Courtney appeared to be asking what was wrong while trying to sneak a peak at the screen. Hastily, Willam turned her phone over and locked the screen before Courtney was able to catch a glimpse of the image. Glaring over at the front counter, she flipped off Sharon, who was sending a taunting wave to the pair, before turning back to Courtney to assure her that nothing was wrong and under no circumstances would she be allowed to look at what was just sent.

Always one for fair play, Violet said mildly, “I imagine she’ll make a move before you do,” and promptly shut down any further teasing as a bright-faced Sharon angrily excused herself for an early smoke break.

*************

In the midst of business picking up once again in the shop, Jinkx somehow found herself becoming entangled of one the customer’s private affairs. Under normal circumstances, Jinkx would never allow herself to become involved with a client’s personal life but this wasn’t just any customer…it was Courtney’s roommate…and the way Courtney practically begged for her help, well…Jinkx is a sucker for sad puppy eyes. And adding in how Katya genuinely seemed willing to listen to any advice Jinkx could offer her?

Ugh.

Damn her motherly instincts. She knew this had the potential to blow up in all of their faces but a part of her was reminded of all the romantic stories she had fed Courtney and Ivy and undoubtedly that sparked this whole idea. Even though she knew she shouldn’t; she did feel somewhat responsible and wanted to at least give the idea a fair shot…and maybe she just wanted to a modern day reenactment of all those tales she had read about. How badly could things be screwed up anyway?

Her introduction to Katya ought to have provided some clue regarding that…

The first time Katya came into the shop, it was…eventful, to say the least. In less than ten minutes, she had scared off Sharon, inadvertently pissed off Willam, embarrassed Courtney, and made Jinkx herself long for the days she was a barista…things were so much simpler back then…

It was a pretty typical Wednesday to begin with; same amount of orders to be filled, same predictable rush of customers. Jinkx was working the afternoon shift with Sharon and Willam had just arrived about half an hour earlier. It was a little unusual as of late for her to be there when Courtney wasn’t working but Jinkx didn’t mind at all; she was good company and her and Sharon’s teasing of one another always brought a smile to her face. They were all gathered around the work benches for the usual late afternoon lag between waves of customers when Courtney of all people walked in…with a new friend in tow.

Sharon had been the first to notice them as her head instinctively popped up once the bell above the door rang. Almost immediately she greeted the pair, making sure to use Courtney’s name just to get a reaction from Willam…and she didn’t disappoint. Despite the very light hint of a blush, the dirty blonde solidly refused to take the bait, strongly disbelieving that Courtney would come by on her day off. However, once Courtney returned the greeting she immediately spun around in her seat only to be met with quite a surprise. Her joyful smile was quickly replaced by a shocked expression and then a pensive stare as she tried to figure out who the unknown woman was that was hanging around so close to her friend’s side. Her lips curled downward ever so slightly once she realized that Courtney had acknowledged everyone in the room but her. In fact, she was studiously refusing to look anywhere close to Willam’s direction, something that certainly didn’t escape Jinkx or Sharon’s notice.

As Willam’s fingernails drummed along table’s surface in an subtle effort to at least catch Courtney’s eye, Sharon inquired as to what Courtney was doing here yet again on her day off.

“We’re actually here to see Jinkx,” she explained as she turned her smile to the redhead in question.

Caught off-guard, Jinkx’s eyes flickered over to Willam for a brief second before she regained enough composure to ask what it is that the pair needed.

“Well, first,” Courtney began cheerfully, “I’d like to introduce you to-”

“Yekaterina Petrovna Zamolodchikova…” the mystery blonde interrupted with a heavy Russian accent.

Jinkx sat stunned for a moment before said woman broke out in a grin and added without a trace of a foreign accent, Russian or otherwise, “Or you can just call me Katya, which ever’s easier.”

Jinkx was unsure of what to say to that as she had no clue which of the accents, Russian or American, was real. But while the redhead remained silent, Sharon’s eyes narrowed as she gave the beaming woman a once-over before finally declaring in a deadpan tone, “There’s not an ounce of Russian in you, is there?”

Giving the older blonde a thoughtful look, Katya replied, “Could be…if you’re offering.”

Choking a little at the audacity of this woman’s behavior, Jinkx felt herself flush as her eyes darted back and forth between the two women. Unfazed, Sharon kept her unamused expression firmly in place and stated coldly, “I’m not Russian.”

“I’m not picky,” Katya insisted as she leant closer to the older woman with a flirty smile.

Jinkx’s heart was racing in her chest at the exchange by the time Courtney finally found the brain power to cut through the banter and scold her friend harshly, “Katya!”

Turning towards Courtney, the younger blonde gave her a disarming smile and argued sweetly, “There’s room in my heart for both of you!”

“Katya,” Courtney groaned in exasperation as she rubbed her temple with her fingers.

Still with a joyful grin, Katya enclosed her arms around Courtney’s waist and reassured her, “Don’t worry, принцесса; you’re still my favorite.”

Courtney’s cheeks filled with a moderate pink but that was nothing compared to the heavy flush of Willam’s as she let out a noise of indignation. Her hand was clenched into a tight fist as she glared unlovingly at the pair across from her. She seemed ready to storm out but pride held her in place.

“You are definitely Violet’s friend,” Sharon stated in an entirely uncomplimentary manner. Nevertheless it earned a proud smile from the pseudo-Russian.

Directing her full attention to her employee, Sharon asked in long-suffering tone, “What is she here for?”

Explaining quickly to get the situation back on track, Courtney began with, “There’s a woman Katya likes-”

“That poor girl,” Sharon muttered.

“-So I suggested buying a gift to test the waters a little.”

“A court order wouldn’t work instead?” the older blonde asked sincerely.

Courtney shot her a mildly scolding look at the comment but even though it was one of her better attempts, Sharon couldn’t help but to grin at how ineffective it was against her.

“So one of Jinkx’s then?” she asked with an arched brow, already knowing the answer.

Grinning brightly, Courtney nodded as she replied, “Mh-mm!”

“I’ll ring it up awhile,” Sharon stated with a fond smile for the younger blonde before walking up to the front counter to prepare for the upcoming purchase.

With Sharon’s approval, Jinkx was ready to begin working but as soon as she was about to begin with her usual tagline, Willam cut her off with a thoroughly unfriendly, “I think it’s safe to assume this isn’t for Violet?”

Somewhat guiltily, Katya shook her head and gave an apologetic smile.

Willam wasn’t even attempting to hide the hostility in her voice as she asked, “Does she know?”

“She does,” Katya replied back calmly. Despite the composed exterior, Jinkx could see the anxiety slowly building up behind the young woman’s eyes as Willam scowled at her with a silent attitude that seemed to promise 'I’ll make sure of that.’

Having enough of the overt aggression, Courtney butted in with a stern warning, “Bill.”

Jinkx would swear to Ivy later that night that she practically heard the mental conversation the two held as they glared openly at one another as though no one else were in the room.

'Be nice,’ Courtney seemed to say.

'This is as nice as she’ll get.’

Fed up with her unwarranted attitude, Courtney asked through clenched teeth, “Can I speak with you…in the back.”

For a moment it seemed as if Willam were going to refuse or simply ignore the demand outright, but to Jinkx’s astonishment, Willam shrugged her shoulders and followed the older blonde towards the break room. It was only as they disappeared past the door frame that Jinkx realized she was itching for a fight.

A slightly worried expression had begun to pass over her face before Katya interrupted her thoughts with a surprising question, “That’s Willam?”

“Yeah,” she replied in a shocked voice as muffled squabbling slowly penetrated the room. How had Katya known her name?

Smiling immensely, Katya glanced towards the area the pair had disappeared into and noted in an amused tone, “Aw, she’s cute. Good for Courtney.”

With her brow furrowing at the unusual comment, Jinkx started to question what she meant by that statement when Sharon walked back up to the benches and stated, “While they’re having their…discussion, how about we let Jinkx get started on your bouquet?”

Nodding her head, Katya turned towards the youngest assistant with an off-putting eager expression.

Forgoing her typical opening spiel for time’s sake, Jinkx instead inquired, “Do you know anything about flowers already?”

Falling back into her former mischievous mood, Katya offered teasingly, “Mm…Violets?…Or maybe just the one.”

Smiling awkwardly, Jinkx began to mumble, “Um, that’s not quite-”

“But I’d have to say I know her as less of a shrinking Violet and more of a screaming one,” Katya quipped with lascivious wink thrown in.

Feeling her cheeks beginning to burn, Jinkx’s eyes darted down to her hands as her mind began recalling all the tales Violet had been sharing up until late of her one very consistent, very explorative partner. It suddenly made sense why Violet always made it a point to look directly at Courtney as she recounted all the things she had done in bed the previous night…No wonder the blonde became so embarrassed she could barely make eye contact with anyone following most of those stories.

Though she didn’t dare to look up just yet, Jinkx could easily picture Sharon glaring daggers towards the younger woman as she boasted of her sexual history with as many plant based jokes as she could think of on the spot. It was clear by now where Violet must have gotten most, if not all, of the puns she had used to annoy Sharon over the past couple of months. And now the source was standing directly in front of her with her unique 'skill’ at full blast…

Either fortunately or unfortunately, Jinkx was unable to hear most of the one-side conversation over the sound of blood pounding in her ears. When it finally began to die down, she was able to tune in for the tail end of the joking spree.

“Ooh, that stare’s giving me sweaty palms,” Katya laughed as her ruby lips stretched from ear to ear.

Her focus was strictly on Sharon at the moment who now held a look of horrified helplessness as the onslaught of puns ceased to let up. There was a slight twitch in her cheek as Katya’s shit-eating grin grew ever wider with each passing comment. Jinkx felt she should step in and divert Katya’s attention away from the older blonde, but between the relentless jokes spewing from Katya’s mouth and the undeniably louder argument filtering in from the back room, she wasn’t sure which situation she ought to address first.

It was almost a relief when Katya exclaimed unexpectedly, “Oh, I do know something!”

“Yeah?” Jinkx asked with a cautious optimism in her voice.

“I know how to make tulips part!” the blonde declared proudly.

“That’s it! I’m done!” Sharon yelled in an entirely harassed tone as she bolted towards the break room. “I need a fucking drink!”

Calling after her, Katya laughed, “What? I didn’t even get to say 'My floral skills are amazing-’”

“Katya!” Courtney interrupted, sounding completely fed up with everything around her. Jinkx had never seen or even imagined that someone normally so calm could look so pissed off as when she stormed in from the break room. It was a small guess to say things had not gone well with Willam.

She was halfway across the room as Sharon rushed towards her own sanctuary in the back. Almost at the same moment when she was about to cross the threshold, Willam burst through with a near murderous look in her eye. Her gaze connected with Sharon’s and scarcely a second passed before she turned around with Sharon following closely behind and slipped her hand comfortingly into the younger woman’s lower back. Jinkx watched somewhat sadly as the two left, undoubtedly disappearing into Sharon’s apartment for a much needed venting session. She wished she could follow after the women as well, but she knew it would be better for Willam with as few other people around as she got her frustrations off her chest.

Although Willam and Courtney had fought in front of her before, this most recent argument seemed to be on an entirely different level. She vaguely wondered how long it would take before the two made up but Courtney’s voice broke her train of thought.

“…Last one,” she consented with heavy reluctance.

“I’ll leaf it alone,” Katya said with small, consoling smile for her unhappy friend.

Both of the other women let out a groan at the final pun and Jinkx finally found the confidence to take back control of the conversation. Very patiently, she asked Katya, “So do you know anything about flowers? Genuinely?”

Behaving much more like a typical customer, the blonde replied in a slightly shamed manner, “Sorry, no…Pretty much all of my experience with any kind of plant consists of knowing which ones I like to eat. I could probably tell you more about 'A rose by any other name’ than an actual rose.”

“Not a problem at all,” Jinkx assured her with a forgiving smile. “Most everyone that comes into the shop is in the same boat as you…So, when I’m working on a bouquet for someone and they aren’t sure of what they’d like, I try to find out what inspired them to pick flowers as a gift in the first place…Do you feel comfortable sharing that with me?”

Katya nodded silently as she picked at her nail beds whilst trying to decide where was the best place for her to start. Jinkx recognized the nervous habit and felt a sort of kinship with the young woman. Occasionally she was known to pluck at the skin around her nails or chew them absently if she were alone. It wouldn’t surprise her if Katya’s tireless spouting of jokes was another manifestation of that anxiety. She probably felt more than her fair share under Willam’s venomous gaze, along with whatever reason she must have for coming here with Courtney to begin with.

Taking a quick breath, Katya began to vaguely describe her situation to the younger woman, “Well…there’s a girl who I…I guess I want to thank her first of all, but I also want to know if maybe…she likes me back? I mean, she’s really confusing most of the time. Like sometimes she’s all nice and talks to me for hours and helps me find books and then other times she just looks so done with me! Like glaring at me or slamming her apartment door in my face, kicking me out of the library-”

“Maybe you shouldn’t tease her so much,” Courtney mumbled mostly to herself.

“But she puts up with it!” Katya argued passionately. “Not a lot of people do…”

Courtney’s gaze turned incredibly sympathetic at the statement but before she could offer a counterpoint, Katya continued on, “I know I can be annoying, and I’m really trying to work on it, but she…she doesn’t really say anything about it. I mean, yeah, she gets frustrated but she never really tells me off for it or like, tries to change me. She usually just rolls her eyes and groans, or you know, walks away…She’s different…and I guess, I really like that…But that’s what’s got me so confused! I don’t know if she actually likes me, or hates me or just…tolerates me.”

Understandingly, Jinkx nodded her head and questioned the blonde gently, “So you want a way to put yourself out there but not too much…just in case?”

“Yes!” Katya groaned dramatically. The relief of being understood was clearly painted on her face as she threw herself comically into the nearest chair.

Throwing in an empathetic smile of her own, the redhead stated confidently, “I think I can help you with that.”

Courtney and Katya turned to each with matching grins and thanked Jinkx repeatedly for taking on the cause.

“I knew you’d be the right person to ask,” Courtney mentioned sincerely. It seems this had been a point of debate as the older blonde informed her much later on. Katya had been reluctant to involve anyone she didn’t know into this affair but Courtney had been adamant that Jinkx was the most knowledgeable on the topic and Violet had agreed as well, once asked.

Flushing a little at the praise, Jinkx began once more with her signature opener, “So what would you like your bouquet to say?”

Pausing for a moment in thought, Katya offered, “'Marry me’?”

Both women shot the blonde a mildly scolding look but Jinkx was exceptionally indulgent as she suggested, “That might be a little ambitious for now…”

“Yeah…” Katya agreed absently, “Should save that for the second date…Mm…How about 'Fuck me’?”

“No,” Courtney insisted in a deadpan manner.

“'Date me’?”

“Try again,” the blonde replied sternly.

Katya shot a pleading look towards Jinkx but the redhead refused to answer for her. She simply smiled sweetly and waited patiently for Katya to arrive at a happy medium by herself. Groaning softly, Katya put forth one final guess, “Um…'Thank you…and I think I kinda like you?’”

Nodding her head approvingly, Jinkx replied, “That’ll work.”

Grateful to have finally found the correct answer, Katya scooted her chair closer to the work benches to watch as Jinkx rushed around gathering the appropriate flowers. As she would with most other customers, Jinkx explained each species of plant life she selected and what they represented.

Holding up a series of small bluish-purple flowers, Jinkx began with, “To create a base layer for the bouquet, I’m going to start by adding in a flower that signifies 'gratitude’; the bellflower. Unfortunately it’s not quite big enough to use as a focal point but it does work as a perfect accent flower for this arrangement. And it also makes sense to include it since you said you wanted to thank the person you’re giving this to…”

Pulling closer the next handful to add in, Jinkx separated the individual stems and carefully placed four medium-blue plants between the bellflower clusters.

“The second flower I’m going to use,” she explained, “is a bit more eye-catching and will also help draw the line of sight towards the center of the piece where the main flower will go…These are called delphinium. They’re a bit longer than any of the other plants I’ll be adding so they’ll just be in here sparingly. This flower has a few meanings, but in this instance they’ll be symbolizing 'attachment’, fitting for how you feel, and also a 'big heart’, which is how you described this woman.”

“Trixie,” Katya supplied with a hint of shyness. “Her name’s Trixie.”

“Trixie,” Jinkx repeated with a soft smile. “It’s cute.”

The blonde’s eyes darted to Courtney’s, who sent back an encouraging smile and enclosed her hand around Katya’s for a comforting squeeze. Pretending not to notice for Katya’s peace of mind, Jinkx continued on to describe the final flower, “This is the last flower I’ll be using with any true meaning…It’s one that’s not usually used in professional bouquets but it is found in a lot of people’s gardens because of the look and fragrance. Care to guess what it is?”

Leaning closer to sniff the purple flower held in front of her, Katya paused to try and remember the name before it finally struck her, “Lilac?”

Smiling in affirmation, Jinkx explained, “This one also has a few different meanings, mostly depending on the color of the flower given. It can be pretty important to double check that the flower’s symbolism doesn’t change with the color being used. In this case, we’re adding in the traditional light purple lilac…not just because it matches the other flowers, but also because of what it’ll mean as the focus point of the bouquet; 'the first emotions of love’…That’s justbold enough for now, don’t you think?”

Katya let out an appreciative laugh and agreed wholeheartedly to the question.

Wrapping up the mini tutorial, Jinkx stated, “Now the final touch for this arrangement is to break up all this blue and purple some additional colors. If the delphinium wasn’t so tall, I’d suggest using pink stock to add some height but I think for this bouquet, that might be a little overpowering. Instead, I’m going to use a little bit of this pale pink heather and just a few springs of baby’s breath. Last thing is a touch more of green…”

Holding up two samples of ferns, Jinkx asked the young woman, “Do you like the sword fern or the feather fern more?”

Surprised at the question, Katya stared intensely at the two plants for almost a full minute before deciding on the feather fern. Secretly, Jinkx had hoped she would pick that one but she wanted to offer Katya a choice and allow her to feel like she helped contribute more to the creation of the bouquet.

Once everything was moved into place and a bow wrapped snugly around the neck of the vase, Jinkx stood back to let Katya take a good long look at what she had prepared. Although she never got tired of seeing her customers’ elated faces when they first see the finished product; Katya’s smile was certainly one that would forever remain special in her memory.

Katya hardly seemed able to control the joyful grin as she declared, “Trixie is going to love it.”

Before Jinkx could say anything else, she found herself engulfed by a pair of strong, unyielding arms and was being thanked once again for all her help. Jinkx let out an amused chuckled and returned the embrace for a moment before leading her up to the front counter to complete the transaction. Sharon had left everything set up for the check out so all that was left to do was swipe Katya’s card for payment and include an insert with the flowers and their meaning. As they waited for the receipt to print, Katya held the bouquet much in the same manner as one would hold a child and glanced down every so often with a pleased smile on her face.

The three chatted casually for a few moments before the pair of blondes took their leave. As Courtney held the door open for her friend, she called out another quick 'Thank you’ and promised to tell Jinkx how things go once Trixie receives the bouquet. Jinkx had a tentative smile on her face at the thought, somewhat grateful that she wouldn’t have to be there to see the reaction, yet curious about it all the same. With a shake of her head and silent wish of luck for her new friend, she returned to the work benches to clean up the mess and wait for the next customer to appear. Everything was nearly spotless once more when Sharon reappeared to poke her head in cautiously from the break room.

“She’s gone, right?” she asked with a hint of nervousness.

Lips curling once more, Jinkx assured her that both blondes had left for the day.

“Thank god,” Sharon commented with a relieved sigh. “I don’t think handle any more of those god-awful puns right now…I’m sorry I left you with that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Jinkx replied with a good-natured smile. “She really isn’t that bad.”

Unconvinced, the blonde remarked, “I’ll take your word for it.”

“How’s Willam?” Jinkx asked timidly. She wanted to check on her friend’s state of being but wasn’t quite sure where the limit was. She hoped Sharon could provide some insight before she tried texting her later that night.

“She’s…frustrated,” Sharon said mildly. “Still in my apartment calming down but it’s better than ten minutes ago…she’s got some shit to work out.”

“With Courtney?” the redhead supplied, already guessing the answer.

“With and about,” Sharon replied vaguely.

The answer definitely piqued Jinkx’s interest but she knew it wasn’t her place to ask anything further. Instead she simply gave Sharon a brief summary of what had happened after she had left. For her part, Sharon listened patiently but Jinkx couldn’t help but to get the feeling she had some differing opinions from Courtney on how the situation should be handled. She held her tongue though and only expressed a desire to have seen the bouquet before the women left.

The pair finished out the day as they normally would and as promised, as soon Courtney arrived for her shift the next day, she rushed over to tell Jinkx how the gift was received. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to see Trixie’s reaction for herself; she promised to wait outside while Katya delivered the bouquet, but it seems the smile on Katya’s face told her all that she needed to know.

Things quieted down until about two weeks later when Katya burst through the front door and walked purposefully up to the front counter with yet another bright smile. Sharon and Violet had been discussing new advertising plans when she arrived but the conversation stopped dead in its tracks the instant Sharon recognized the woman. Her gazed darted between the women, Violet now mirroring Katya’s teasing grin, and immediately excused herself far, far away from the pair. Willam and Violet were bad enough, but these two together?

Hell, no.

Violet laughed openly at Sharon’s less than subtle attempt at fleeing and granted Katya permission to wander directly in the alcove to speak with Courtney and Jinkx. It was a short guess to figure out what she was here for but Jinkx still waited until Katya had asked for another bouquet herself before bringing up the subject. Usually it made no difference to her what a person intended to do with one her arrangements once they were out of the shop, but Sharon’s silent reservations from earlier caused her to pause and think for moment before ultimately agreeing. It didn’t hurt Katya’s cause that Courtney also directed one of her best set of puppy eyes towards the redhead the second she showed a hint of hesitation.

Much like before, Jinkx wheedled out the emotions Katya was trying to express and selected flowers that matched as closely to the sentiments as they had in stock. The entire arrangement took at most fifteen minutes to complete and soon Katya was sent on her way with a new bouquet and insert. Courtney left the shop a few hours later once her shift ended and to Jinkx’s relief, mentioned she was picking up Willam from her work to grab a bite to eat before heading to yet another club. It was strange to Jinkx’s mind that neither Courtney or Willam acknowledged the rather public fight they had had two weeks ago; Willam just ignored the subject entirely while Courtney danced around it with incomplete or vague answers, but she was glad the two were able to to make up. Things did seem to be…different between them though. They still hung around each other as often as before and teased one another endlessly but it all just seemed…off. Not quite forced but definitely not as natural as it had been before…almost like each were hiding something…Well, it wasn’t her place to question it if they didn’t want to share.

Once she was sure Courtney was gone, Sharon made her way over to Jinkx’s side to inquire about the most recent bouquet. She listened with a pensive expression on her face before staring off into the distance. Jinkx could tell she was having an internal debate as whether or not she should say something but Jinkx encouraged her to speak her mind. Reluctantly, the older blonde gave a heavy sigh and informed her youngest assistant of her opinion on the subject, “I can’t really see this ending well for Katya…She needs to talk to this girl…If she starts relying on the bouquets, then something’s bound to go wrong. They’re just meant to be a gift, not the primary means of communication…”

Jinkx certainly could understand Sharon’s concerns but to her they seemed a bit premature…It was only two bouquets thus far and Jinkx doubted this was the only way the two women would talk to one another…Trixie just happened to like the first bouquet so much that Katya thought it was a good idea to give her a second…That didn’t seem to indicate any lack of communication. But all the same, Jinkx reassured Sharon that she wouldn’t allow Katya to become too reliant on her bouquets; if she came in a third time, she would be sure to sit her down and make that point very clearly to her.

Sharon seemed unconvinced but let subject die anyway. She only offered one more piece of advice, “Just be careful with this…There’s no shame in calling it quits. And don’t be afraid to say 'no’ if things start getting out of hand, okay?”

Jinkx thanked her for the concern but assured her nothing was going to go wrong; she wouldn’t let things go that far…As it turns out; Sharon’s trepidation was right on the money as everyone found out just a few short weeks later.

[lady-divine-writes]

Klaine one-shot - “Once Upon a Bed” (Rated NC17)

When Kurt and Blaine's f*cking break Blaine's bed, Kurt decides that Blaine's room needs a bit of a makeover. (1405 words)

A/N: Inspired by many posts I've seen wanting a sassy, skanky, young Dom Kurt and an older sub Blaine. This is also a re-write. Warnings for Dom/sub, humiliation, bondage, financial domination, and anal sex. NSFW.

Read on AO3.

Creak-creak-creak-creak …

“Oh God, Kurt!” Blaine moans, crunching his abs to bring his ass up, and spreading his legs to open himself up wider. “Oh God, yes!”

“You like that, baby? Huh?” Kurt grins. He knows Blaine does. Blaine’s a slut for a good, hard pounding.

“Yes …” Blaine swallows, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid getting sweat in them. “Harder, Kurt! Harder, please!”

“Say the magic words,” Kurt sings, slowing down purposefully to get what he wants.

Blaine’s lips tighten into a line. Kurt’s going to kill his buzz with this bullshit. Blaine could refuse, but then Kurt would stop. He would literally pull the fuck out and walk away. Blaine doesn’t want to say it, but he’s too deep into this fucking to turn back, not with his cock throbbing like it’s ready to explode.

“Please, Master,” Blaine says, trying not to grind his teeth. Kurt hates it when Blaine grinds teeth.

“Please … Master … what?” Kurt asks, frustrated that Blaine’s forcing him to slow down more by being so damned stubborn.

“Please, Master,” Blaine says, struggling to be a good boy and say the right words, “fuck your piggy. Fuck your piggy, Master. Make me squeal.”

“And you’ll do anything?” Kurt slows down even further, using long, purposeful thrusts to help Blaine remember how to beg properly.

“Yes.” Blaine’s jaw drops lower and lower when every one of Kurt’s thrusts ghosts over his prostate. “Yes, I’ll … I’ll do anything.”

“You’ll pay anything?” Kurt asks.

“Yes!” Blaine whines at the agony of his engorged cock threatening to simmer without its promised orgasm. “I’ll pay anything! Just … ungh! Please!”

Kurt grabs Blaine’s legs and lifts them, one over each of his shoulders, and drives inside his body.

Creak-creak-creak-creak-critch …

“You will pay, little piggy,” Kurt teases, flipping his damp, crayon-red bangs out of his face. “Whatever I want. You’ll pay it.”

“Oh God!” Blaine gasps, putting Kurt’s inane demands behind him and enjoying the ride. “Y-yeah … j-just like that, Master. Just like that ...” Blaine holds still and lets Kurt take control – not that Kurt didn’t have it to begin with, especially with Blaine’s wrists cuffed to the bed. But Kurt’s like a machine. It humbles Blaine that, at barely ten years older than his twenty-two-year-old Dominant, he can’t keep up. But then the torment wouldn’t be as deliciously painful as it is if Blaine could. “D-don’t stop! God, don’t stop!”

Creak-creak-creak-creak-snick …

“Jesus, Blaine!” Kurt groans, running his nails up Blaine’s thighs. “You’re so tight. You’re so … Oh, God … I’m cum … cumming … I’m …”

“Yes, yes, yes, yes …” Blaine chants, back arching, wrists rolling.

Creak-creak-creak-creak-snap …

“Master, I’m …”

“Yeah … God … so am I …”

Creak-creak-creak-creak-CRASH!

Kurt and Blaine cum just as the entire world seems to drop down and to the left at a 45 degree angle.

“What the … what the fuck!?” A breathless Kurt shudders, kneeling up and looking around. “Am I blacking out?”

“I don’t think so,” Blaine pants. “Unless I’m blacking out, too.”

Kurt crawls down the bed. With Kurt’s body gone, Blaine feels himself sliding down the satin sheets. That’s when it hits him.

"You … you broke the bed, Kurt!” Blaine laughs. “You broke the damn bed! I’ve had this bed since before high school! It went to NYU with me! I’ve owned it longer than you’ve been alive!”

“Really?” Kurt climbs carefully off the one steady side of the busted bed. “With all your fronting over the amount of trim you got through college, I’m amazed it took this long to snap.”

“Well, most of my partners just lie back and take it,” Blaine explains. “You’re the most violent fuck I’ve ever had!”

“Nice.” Kurt removes the condom from his rapidly softening cock, spurred to flaccidity by this conversation. “Well, come on, Mr. Broadway Star! Buy another one! And make it snappy!! I’m hoping for a round two in about an hour," Kurt scolds, tossing Blaine’s jeans in his face.

“I can’t,” Blaine grumbles through the denim covering his mouth.

“Why in hell not? Serving me is all you’re scheduled to do today, and I want a new bed! Hurry up! Chippity-chop-chop, Blaine!”

“I can’t …” Blaine whips his head back and forth to get the jeans off his face "… because you didn't un-cuff me yet!”

Kurt, who’d been slipping on his own jeans, stops mid-zip, his lips dropping into a small ‘o’. “Oh.” He chuckles. “My bad.” He looks at Blaine, wrists cuffed to the bars of the headboard, pulling with the weight of his body sliding down. “I forgot.” He retrieves the little silver key from the dresser and reaches over to undo the cuffs around Blaine’s wrists … then stops. Blaine, watching impatiently, frowns. Confused by Kurt’s reluctance, he shakes his right wrist, eager to be free of the cuffs digging into his skin.

“Come on, Kurt,” he says. “Make with the un-cuffing. I think my hands are falling asleep.”

Kurt slips the key into his pocket and puts his hands on his hips, re-evaluating Blaine and his situation.

“Hey, you know,” Kurt says, as if a sudden and previously un-pondered thought has just popped into his head. Actually, Kurt’s been thinking about it for a while now, storing it away amongst his arsenal of scenes for the right time. “I’m cleared to use your AmEx card, aren’t I? The one with no spending limit?”

“Yeah,” Blaine says, too quickly and without thinking. “Wh---?”

Kurt’s smile, all mock-innocence and Oh, I’m just asking, becomes dark and devious.

“You know, I’ve never been really kosher with a lot of the furniture in this room, to tell you the truth.”

“Kurt …” Blaine jiggles his cuffs as Kurt grabs the jeans that have slid down Blaine’s torso and starts searching the pockets.

“And these sheets …” Kurt toes them with his foot and makes a disapproving noise. “They’ve got to be at least as old as the bed. Tragic.”

“Kurt? What are you …?”

“Also, there’s a pair of shoes down at Bergdorf’s I’ve had my eye on,” Kurt continues, finding Blaine’s wallet with a triumphant a-ha! in his eyes. “I’ve been waiting for them to go on sale, but if I have your card, it doesn’t matter if they’re on sale or not.”

“Kurt!” Blaine yanks on the cuffs, testing to see if there’s any way he can snap them, or the bar they’re hooked on. If he and Kurt could level the whole bed fucking, then there’s a chance the frame is weak all over. This has to be, what, the hundredth time Kurt’s cuffed him to it? Blaine puts all his strength behind one long pull, groaning with the effort.

But it doesn’t work. Not even close.

“So I’m just going to take this.” Kurt slides the platinum AmEx card out of Blaine’s wallet, along with a healthy handful of hundreds, and throws the rest to the floor. Blaine’s eyes blow wide when he sees the stash of cash Kurt shoves into his pocket.

“Kurt! You little brat!” Blaine growls, tugging futilely at the silver cuffs with numb wrists. “I swear to God! If you …”

“If I what?” That question, and the swing of Kurt’s hips as he walks, shuts Blaine up. Blaine knows that walk. It means that Kurt is unamused. Kurt sashays up to the broken bed. He kneels carefully on the skewed mattress, staying nimbly out of kicking range as he leans over Blaine’s helpless body.

“Now, now, little piggy. Just sit tight,” Kurt whispers, lips brushing the perimeter of Blaine’s mouth with the suggestion of kisses. “While I’m out, I’m gonna buy something small and tight to wear …” He moves closer, bites gently on Blaine’s lower lip. “Something edible.” He swipes his tongue along the seam of his mouth. “And if you’re a good boy and stay nice and quiet while I’m gone, then you can tie me to the bed … and have a snack.”

Blaine doesn’t exactly kiss Kurt back when Kurt’s mouth starts claiming his, too occupied with the image of Kurt bound to a brand new bed, naked except for an expensive pair of shoes and some kind of edible undergarment, entirely at Blaine’s mercy.

“Stay safe and have fun,” Blaine says, shooing Kurt away with a gesture of his head. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

[mrsmiter]

Anime Review #1 - Higurashi: When They Cry

What is it?

Higurashi is a horror anime that became quite popular around 2007. What made it so popular? And is it worth taking another look at it today? I’ve created a scorecard to help breakdown the elements of Higurashi (And maybe other works in the future) in order to have a better understanding of this piece.

Anime Bullshit stats - Anime has a lot of bullshit that quite often negatively impacts the overall quality of the show. I will address these grievances here and prod at them. My ultimate goal with this section is to identify common problems that anime has, and try to understand what it would look like without these traits.

Excessive and distracting “Plot”: C-

There’s no way around it, Higurashi suffers from inappropriate sexualization. It never totally takes over any scene, but it definitely takes away from certain scenes. As an example, when a character is having a psychotic freakout and their body is convulsing in a way that really shows off their boobs and butt in a way that is meant to titillate, Harming the disturbing nature of the scene. Luckily these instances tend to be concentrated during the light hearted scenes, so it tends to be less distracting than they could be, though once or twice they find their way into the less appropriate scenes.

Inane and boring zzzz: B+

While there are some parts that tend to drag on a little long, and some shots tend to linger a little too long, the writers made an effort to fill those spaces with interesting dialogue. Ultimately Higurashi tends to avoid the pitfall of excessive pauses to kill time.

But when do they fight?(Genre Savvy): A-

Part of this show's appeal is how it plays with and subverts established genre norms. If you have no idea what this anime is when you start watching it, the first couple episodes would trick you into thinking it’s a slice of live with an interesting, but mundane setting. These lighter scenes reemerge throughout the series, and tend to give a much needed break from the horror, avoid the norms of dark horror all the time, and horror turning into pseudo adventure anime.

Too many belts(Trope Savvy): A-

The designs of both the place and the characters tend to make sense within the context of the show. There are a couple strange visual choices with a couple of the characters that are never addressed(One particular accessory belonging to Mion stands out in my mind) but more often than not the character’s designs make sense and sometimes can become visually striking. The characters themselves sometimes seem like they are going to slide neatly into the norms stagnate amongst anime, but quite often surprise you with their actions or attitudes.

General qualities - This section is a general all purpose review section which can apply to all kinds of things, not just anime.

Artistic Direction: B

Artistically not much shines about the animation style, music or how it all fits together. You get  creepy music when creepy things happen, and nothing particular stands out with the animation or shots. Everything about this section is completely serviceable, and does its job effectively, yet without distinction.

Story Structure: A+

The literary structure is one if Higurashi’s greatest strengths. After a few episodes, it becomes apparent something more than the initial horror is happening. I won’t discuss the particulars of of what the story structure means for the story, just know that the story structure is intertwined with the story itself and it sets out to use non-traditional storytelling to examine paranoia and old social structures in japan.

Story Content: B

The actual story of Higurashi is fairly interesting, but simple if you get rid of the interesting story telling. You could tell major pieces of the story without the interesting literary structure, however other pieces are ingrained into the structure itself. While the story surrounding the town and the individual characters isn’t particularly complex or difficult to understand, the simplicity of the smaller story services the larger story nicely.

Special Sauce - Many stories have a special sauce that makes it notable. This section is a tool for me to identify and examine that special thing that only it can be examined by.

Psyche and Body Horror: B+

The body horror in Higurashi gruesome, yet is used sparingly choosing to spare the most detailed body horror for when it will have the most impact. Characters who are inconsequential are often spared the more gruesome deaths. It also does a good job of avoiding torture porn, which given the nature of some of the scenes is quite a feat. Higurashi’s psychological horror is what really shines however, Character’s moods sometimes turn on a dime leading to a genuine tension around what action characters might take.

Mystery: A-

The mysteries of Higurashi unfold and overlap masterfully. Between unravelling the mysteries of each character, the town, and the larger arc it layers on a just enough each episode to keep you coming back for more. However there are a few pieces of the mystery that fail to conclude in a satisfying way, and the set up for sequel or second season is frustrating.

Questioning old Japanese cultural norms: A+

A big piece of Higurashi is an attack on japanese rural tradition, how families inflict their power upon those who have less, how they reject others whom they see as lesser, how they force family into a structure that ultimately is harmful towards individuals, how the state fails to provide help to those who need it, and fails to listen to the people who its decisions it will effect the most. These criticism are subtle some fluency of japan's social structures is necessary to catch them. Truthfully I know only enough to scratch the surface, but clearly the criticism is meaningful and personal to the creators of the show.

A few notes before I finish, Higurashi is a series which seeks to explore certain feelings of paranoia and loss of sanity through both explicitly through its story, and implicitly through its strange a broken story structure. The explicit part of this structure is generally the weaker evocation of these feelings. The work more makes up for this by Making you feel like you’re lost in a maze that seemingly changes its path as you ineptly wander.

Here is the final scorecard for Higurashi: When they Cry:

Anime Bullshit: B-

Higurashi mostly avoids the pit traps of fan service ands cost cutting through repeated animation. However during some of the more relaxed scenes it has a couple moments that feel like they’re trying to be humorous but end up just feeling gross. Additionally there are a couple of moments of inappropriate and distracting sexualization, but it's not severe enough as to make the rest of the experience hollow.   

General Qualities: A-  

The unique story structure allows the mystery to unravel in an enticing way. A The animation and sound all fit together quite nicely, however sometimes leave something to be desired, however they serve the interesting story and storytelling structure nicely.

Special Sauce: A

Higurashi’s special sauce also make this anime a worth watching viewing experience. The Body horror and psychological horror serve the themes it explores nicely, and without getting into whether the criticism of japanese relationships both familial and otherwise are right or wrong, it is clear even to those who aren’t savvy to its nuances that there is local themes are being explored. All of this is wrapped in an interesting mystery that starts revealing itself at a satisfying pace.

[imanes]

do you think that "influencers" and celebs should speak out about "political issues"? (putting it in brackets bc. it's clearly an understatement n not accurate but idk how to word it) re: palestine? cause i've seen a lot of people be like "yeah they shouldn't talk about it if they're not educated or if they're just doing it for the trend" (even tho at this point its been so all over social media that ppl cant use the "im not educated enough" excuse anymore) n all and i guess it's a fair point and all but also? idk when i'm on social media and i see ppl talking about what's happening in palestine, and then i scroll down and see ppl be like omg new haul uwu! vlog with my friends! and thats just so???? idk. idk what to think bc on the other hand ofc performative activism is bad ykw? (like....re: blm ppl just posting a black square on their ig....) but i don't know what to think about it and i would love to hear your thoughts!!!

inchresting question to which i have no concrete answer to provide (except a lot of ramblings) because it is a thorny subject related to the ubiquity of digital society and the social weight we give to a certain class of people who frame their existence as something that could represent us but actually doesn't at all. and everybody and their mother - including me - has an opinion on it but at the end of the day it's just an opinion, not an empirical fact to be presented, and not even one i think about a lot bc it isn't a primary concern of mine on a day to day basis. so i'm like not looking for a debate with some random tumblr user (not talking about u anon, but talking about whoever might care too much about my inconsequential opinion) bc this is a question i'm answering, not a question i'm asking so to anyone tempted to "well according to the encyclopedia of pfppspfpsp" me, make ur own post!

i guess we can start with "should influencers/celebrities/people who are famous by virtue of being well-known even exist and should we lend weight to their words?" the answer to that may vary from person to person but social media accounts with a very large following can indeed turn tides with regard to socio-political crises, such as demonstrated by bella hadid who single-handedly educated a whole generation of south-korean netizens through her posts on palestine so we can see the good effects of that. now obviously bella hadid is personally concerned by the ethnic cleansing of palestine and has a lot more at stake than say rihanna with her all lives matter bullshit statement (someone said "saudi dick must be potent" but i think it has more to do with her contract with puma who is actually on the BDS list) or even jameela jamil who has a terminal case of "everything must be about me always".

people can say whatever they want about what well-known ppl are allowed to speak about or not but i'll just remind that these "influencers" and whatnot are people and they're bound to want to talk about stuff, especially when it is relevant or when prompted by their own following, because literally everybody with an account on a social media platform expresses their opinions about smt at one point or another in time. that includes random ppl on facebook commenting under news with their stale hot takes. famous ppl or "influencers" are no different.

I'll also say that "influence" only goes so far so I'm not *particulary* concerned with whatever whoever that i don't take seriously says. let me take the queen of talking out of her ass jameela jamil as a case study for this. people who agreed with her bizarre and narcissistic takes are already bound to agree with her because people flock to opinions that are similar to theirs. in my opinion that is not influence, that is attracting similar weirdos in your sphere and consequently creating impenetrable echo chambers of idiocy. did her stale ass take become a "consensus" amongst the indecisive? i don't know for sure bc i haven't run a survey but my assumption is that people who have critical thinking skills were rightfully put off by her rancid take and called her out publicly for it, providing sources and information, which i think is visible enough for anyone 2 look through. and people who like her talk and think out of their asses were like "wow preach i've been saying!" so they are themselves inconsequential.

so in my opinion it is less about influencing - because at this point i think someone can be influenced by a single person into buying a product but your fave singer is not going to make you buy into their ideology just because they released one lukewarm-at-best statement - and more about signaling where you stand. when viola davis and idris elba (amongst many others) stated that they stood by palestine, they made it clear that they stood against apartheid and ethnic cleansing and people who already agreed on these basic principles saluted their stance. do i believe they changed anybody's mind? not really, that is the job of well-informed people such as activists disseminating information and other people sharing the info. do i think that mark ruffalo lost all credibility with his flip-flopping? absolutely, and it doesn't reflect back on palestine, it reflects badly on HIM. we're in an era where people are bombarded with so much information from all sides that one person saying something is a drop in a bucket no matter how famous they are. this is also why we say that israhell lost the PR war. we were and are too loud 2 be ignored now and a few celebrities showcasing how inane they are doesn't change anything. the famous-ppl-market is too saturated for their opinion to matter a whoooole lot. support is appreciated but not hailed as the second-coming jesus u know what i mean?

to address ur final point about finding it weird that some people flat-out ignore some stuff while you are neck-deep into it, I think it's an understandable situation to find yourself in and as subhi taha said, it just looks tacky. i think it should be your cue to just unfollow whoever doesn't align with your interest content-wise. i unfollowed a loooot of people lately because of that like I really didn't give a fuck about Michelle phan's cryptocurrency peddling (which was already yikes on principle) in the midst of real-time live-stream decolonisation and liberation struggles against apartheid and ethnic cleansing, and at this point I don't think I can go back to caring about using social media for frivolous things (except cats and memes account bc they bring me joy) and following bigger accounts that are trying 2 sell me some shit, because I've changed in the past weeks, one could say I've become more "radical" (lol) and I'm ready to sustain an online space that caters to my concerns and abandon all content that I indeed find tacky in between two posts that talk about some serious shit. it's not to say I'll never post a pic of the sunset on Instagram again or that I don't consume content that has literally nothing to do with informing myself and disseminating information on decolonisation and anti-capitalism (I literally watch study vlogs from med students to unwind lol), or that "everybody should use their account in this specific way because it's the only one that is valid" (it's not and i don't care what other ppl do) but u are obviously dissatisfied with ur feed for valid reasons and while some ppl may not share your opinion it doesn't mean that you shouldn't take steps to make ur user experience less jarring.

it's again just an *opinion*, not a to-do list or smt that i'd ever want 2 present as a "fact", at the end of the day everybody curates their online spaces the way they want to and if you find your current configuration to be distasteful, that's understandable. and everybody is entitled to believe that celebrities/influencers/glorified sellers of products and lifestyles and disorders talking or not talking about certain things can be harmful or beneficial, as there are arguments and examples for and against it and i am personally not interested in participating the debate even tho i wrote a long ass text about it akjdlkfjgd I'm sorry about this u might be regretting ever asking me this question. hope i made sense!

[xottzot]

2018-05(MAY)-08--Tuesday--(more)---of this hellhole today.

2018-05(MAY)-08--Tuesday--(more)---of this hellhole today.

ALL THIS HAS HAPPEND BEFORE SEVERAL TIMES OVER THESE PAST SEVERAL YEARS IN ALL SORT OF PERMUTATIONS.....

From out of the aborignal criminal household came a young aboriginal woman and she was crying. She walked into the street and turned around and angrily said somthing along the lines of, "Why is it always left up to ME!!"

Still crying, she walked along the roads through the intersection and to the telephones at the Kongamia shops area.

She was quickly pursued by an aboriginal young man wearing a backpack on his front, and he was continually loudly whislting to her to get her attention and make her do his bidding. - He is the one who-walks-too-fast. And is also violent at any moment at any time.

She shortly returned and was wielding a stout white wooden or metal pole, that she used to beat at other aboriginals, the older youth with the patchwork jacket, and the younger ones who had been involved in invading an damaging property such as the front yard tap of the unfenced corner household. Those she hit offered no resistance. (they're absolutely guilty anyway so spare no pity for them at all)

She yelled, "How many times have I told you NOT to go over THERE!!? - Keep outta there!"

She could have been talking about the unfenced corner hosehold with the smashed water tap, or she ccould have been talking about the house next door to there (next to fatguts aboriginal crimial household) where the aboriginal thug was wantonly and criminally violentally SMASHING walls and windows and anythig there. (but he is STILL free and walking about and NO Police actions have been taken against him it seems....AGAIN. This has been going on for YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS)....

She hit the others hard and often enough for them to cower and shy away and be quiet like the feral animals they are as the slunk away from her. Then she gave up and went into the aboriginals criminal housheold.

IMMEDIATELY, afterwards the ones who had been chastised and beaten, they all suddenly got violent and were trying to regain their status in their feral tribe amongst themselves by using sticks and lengths of wood to mindlessly fight and hit each other. One smaller kid got hit hard and sat down on the road kerb and was bawling, whilst the others continued beating each other up with it all AND still willingly invading the inncoents residnet home property over and over and over again as a 'fuck you!" you to everyone. It is all utterly ferally predictable and has gone on for so many YEARS and YEARS and YEARS and YEARS.....and even the feral toddlers in diapers where getting in on it all by deliberatly knocking down the big council wheely bins then climbing into them.....

A trio of aboriginals, the same usual one with the patchwork shirt he wears year after year (he's the one who hides up in trees from Police, and the vicious little one in black clothing who was slashing trees and tried to snap off the water tap before.....and an asortment of smaller aboriginals mostly males but also with some females and aboriginal toddlers learning how to be criminals.......

They descended once again and wantonly invaded that VERY yard they had been told to keep OUT OF, and this time the older youth with the pathwoork shirt vioentally took hold of the tap and its copper pipe and proceeded to wrench it violentally around over and over until it snapped COMPLETELY OFF. So now he had a length of copper tubing with the tap head attched to th top. - He began to use it as a primitives feral club weapon by using it to hit things with including the road, until he flung it away to land on the road. It was immdiately picked up by a younger aboriginal and he tried to emulate what the older one had down with it.

In ANY CASE, there is NO FRONT TAP NOW EXISTING AT 2 Kalara Way. - The rental agency will now have to pay for an expensive operation (AGAIN for at LEAST the 5th time now again!?) to have that tape replaced by a plumber contractor. In the meantime, the water there has been turned off. And THAT will damage the gas hot water system. Whether other damages to walls, doors, windows and so on is unknown at this point to report.....

The level of wanton criminal damage down to the house next door at 4 Kalara Way is currently unknown, but the amount of smashing sounds and loud crashes and thumps heard going in for hours at the time of the wanton criminal damage was occuring is an indication of the severity of ongoing criminal destruction.

Some sort of 'backlash' has occured amongst the aboriginals or to them by companies ador depatrments possibly via Western Australian Police too and they absolutely DESERVE THAT for what they've done and have been doing.

But even on the very day they were getting admomished for it all, they FURTHERED THE CRIMINAL DAMAGE....not the least being the snapping off of the tap and water pipe itself and then carried around as if it was some sort of dead animal to be a feral trophy for them.......

I wonder how long it will take THIS time for the rental agency in charge of the house/yard/property to have it all repaired. - And do you think they might actually put in a fence this time to stop the criminal utterly feral and vicious aboriginals doing damage? (I doubt that.) -It semsthat they WANT to have that place conintually the target site iof criminal aboriginals almost as if it is a criminals adventure playground for the aboriginals of all ages to keep them from being on the roads.

Western Australian Police seem to have been useless. What did they do......contact the supervising aboriginal adults by telephone to inform them that once AGAIN for the thousandth time they would be up for payment for criminal damages their feral offspring have once AGAIN been doing AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN.........?

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The old guy with the big green fence in Kalara Road seems to be having an unnatural attraction and interaction with female older girl aboriginals who hang around the front of his gate more and more almost constantly now. And if whilst doing that, and if he spots anyone daring to look at him doing that, he launches into heavily verbally abusing the innocent person. -- It is no wonder SO MANY neighbours HATE this old man, his crazy insulting sounds and actions and hand gestures he makes to all others for no reasons whatsoever other than to make him feel tough and a king above all laws.....and yet he himself is also a victim of the criminal aboriginals and is used by them as a fallguy.........his entire demenour is cobattive and adversarial all the time.

A group of aboriginals this afternoon walked up along the footpath, two older teen femalesm and the older male youth in his patchwork shirt.....they stopped to talk to him and called him out of his house to meet them at the gate...(sounding like) "Hymie! Hymie!!" -- The youth kept walking and then LOUDLY smashed his fist against the green fence before he left the area to them. The ditzy criminal females began to 'dance' for him as he kept on his side of his green metal gate.

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Dredged out of somewhere.......a filthy hill cart trolley had been hauled out and prepared to ONCE AGAIN be used all ON THE ROADS IN TRAFFIC just as it has been used for YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS AND YEAR........IN TRAFFIC ON THE ROADS AND IN RAIN......IT'S ALL HAPPENED BEFOR COUNTLESS TIMES OVER YEARS AND YEAR AND YEARS.....

This time that aboriginal criminal youth who was causing wanton damages yesterday and today and always, he no longer SITS on the cart but lays down on his stomach on the cart and rolls on it like that. - That should make him being run over on the roads even MORE of a greater likelihood since all the visibility is even lesser....we can only hope for a fatality as a final outcome.

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I love you dear Fliss and want to be with you away from here with YOU, just as you promised us living a proper and good life together with poor Sam and poor Max too. -- Dearest Fliss...YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF THE REALITY AND STRESS OF ALL THIS AT THIS HELHOLE AREA........HOW BADLY IT AFFECTS INNOCENT NEIGHBOURS, AFFECTS ME, AFFECTS POOR SAM AND POOR MAX, AND AFFECTS POOR INNOCENT CHILDREN GROWING UP AROUND HERE. - THEIR LIVES ARE BEING DESTROYED. AND A LOT OF IT ALL IS BEING COVERED UP WITH INANE BULLSHIT 'CULTURAL HERITAGE REASONS'. -- THINGS ARE BECOMING WORSE......AGAIN.......